This week, I feel inspired to bring light and hope about an emotion that is part of our human experience and causing much pain and suffering.
Fear.
Fear is not a popular emotion, nor is it always a popular topic to discuss. Sometimes, we can put up walls when the word fear is mentioned. We just don’t want to go there.
Will you go there with me today?
Collectively, there is a lot of fear in the world.
Some people are afraid of their finances or work situation, their family’s well-being, their health, the state of the world, climate change, or day-to-day affairs.
It’s a lot to deal with.
Feeling intense emotions is not easy.
Feeling fear is part of being human. But so many people are filled with fear all day, meaning fear is in the driver’s seat, controlling their lives.
When we are constantly living in fear, this creates anxiety in our bodies.
We aren’t present.
We are reactive.
Our health is compromised.
We aren't thinking clearly.
It can be debilitating.
I know what it feels like to be driven by fear and to be in fight-or-flight. I spent many years of my life like this. It’s not fun.
I also know firsthand there is hope.
What if fear isn’t the problem?
What if our judgment and fear of fear are what create a monster?
What if we looked fear in the eyes and were open to understanding it?
Because this is what fear is longing for – compassion and support.
I often ask my clients to picture a child standing in front of them, and this child is afraid.
I ask, “What would you say to this child?” Their reply is usually, “Well, I would give them a hug and tell them it’s going to be okay. I love them.” Yes – you love them.
When we feel afraid…
Do we give ourselves a hug and show ourselves compassion?
No, we usually judge ourselves and the fear.
The problem with this approach is when we hide from fear, we hide in fear.
We think we are the fear and, at that moment, have lost touch with our true essence.
All of this creates more fear.
“Your pain, your sorrow, your doubts, your longings, your fearful thoughts: they are not mistakes, and they are not asking to be ‘healed’. They are asking to be held. Here, now, lightly, in the loving, healing arms of present awareness.”
~ Jeff Foster
Mindfulness is a way of being with fear.
Our practice is to be here now, bringing more presence and awareness into each moment. Loving ourselves while we are afraid. Not loving ourselves instead of being afraid.
Remember, a part of us is afraid, not all of us.
We can observe and support the part of us that is afraid.
We shine light (awareness) on the darkness (fear).
Here are some ways to support ourselves in a kind and empowering way…
Your Daily Practice
I don’t use my tools only when I’m stressed. I use them daily, so when challenges come my way (and they do), I am more resilient. When I get thrown off course, I can bounce back. My normal is to feel safe and to trust.
Be In Your Body
Practice being here now, sensing your body, arms and legs, and feet on the ground as you go about your day. This will help you stay in the nowness of your experience. This simple practice has been life-changing for me.
The Breath
The breath is sacred. Conscious breathing is conscious living. When you feel an uncomfortable sensation in your body, breathe in, allowing the breath to go to the feeling and offer support.
Take your time - breathing in and breathing out.
As you breathe in, say, "I feel you. I'm here for you." Let this part of you know it's not alone.
Hold the Feeling
Place one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly as you breathe in and as you breathe out. Hold the feeling gently and breathe into the feeling. It's like you are supporting a child
Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique)
This is one of the most effective techniques for releasing emotions, calming the amygdala in the brain, and regulating our nervous system. It helps us feel calm and safe in our bodies and the world. I use this technique personally and with my clients.
Meditation
It effectively releases stress from our mind and body, helping us feel more present, grounded, and connected to our true essence.
Journalling
Allow the fear to be expressed in your writing. This can be very cathartic.
You could start off by writing, “What is this fear all about?’ and see where the inquiry leads you.
Move Your Body
Go for walks, and move your body in ways you love. It will help you stay to release stress, stay grounded in the now, and get those happy hormones flowing.
Ask for Help
Sometimes, we can benefit from having compassionate support on our journey. If you are struggling or feel stuck, I offer private coaching sessions. I’d love to support you. Contact me.
You may find comfort and support in other healthy ways. Wonderful!
For me, this is where hope lies.
In our moment-to-moment choices, we are learning to love ourselves more, not less – no matter what.
We are reclaiming our power and our peace.
May we continue to practice creating space for all feelings to be acknowledged, held, and liberated.
With love,
Diane