Mindful Monday: Longing for that ‘perfect meditation’? It doesn’t exist.
Ah yes, I love this topic about the ‘perfect meditation’.
Why? Because I know it well.
You know…it’s that picture of someone sitting in a perfect lotus posture looking SO at peace. They clearly have no thoughts and are deep, deep into their meditation.
When I started to meditate I was obsessed with being the perfect meditator and having the perfect meditations.
I was stressed about my meditation not being perfect enough!
I remember one meditation class I was in - we went around the circle and everyone shared their experience of how their meditation was going. Everyone was sharing how life-changing it was, how they were so happy, how they were experiencing this bliss and complete stillness…and then there was me. I was angry and irritated inside. I felt like meditation was ruining my life! I felt like, ironically, I had way more thoughts after I started to meditate. So when it came to my turn I told everyone that I really didn’t like meditation and I thought it was ruining my life. (I was very dramatic!) Well - the teachers just loved it that I was so honest and they congratulated me. The interesting thing is…after I shared my frustration I felt fantastic! And I was ready to give meditation a go again.
One of the biggest traps people get caught up in is they think they have to meditate perfectly – so much so that they don’t do it – because they don’t want to fail. They want to wait for the perfect time when they aren’t stressed or when they feel calm (which is never!).
When I finally let go of expectations of what my meditation should look like or feel like, that is when things started to change for me.
And today….I have no idea what my next meditation is going to be like AND I don’t care.
So this is my tip for this week, let go of your expectations or attachment. Just do it!
Choose a time.
Choose a location.
Put on a guided meditation or practice in silence.
Your meditation might be relaxing. Great.
You might have tons of thoughts. Great
You might be fidgety and can’t relax. Great.
You might be peaceful. Great.
The Key: Let go of the attachment of how your meditation should be.
We are so used to controlling(or trying to control) EVERYTHING in our life. But with meditation, we are practicing letting go judgment or the need to control - and being ok with whatever experience we are having in the moment.
So how about it – when you meditate this week, try not to care about whether you have lots of thoughts or few. Whether it feels deep and powerful or busy and imperfect.
The point is, you’re doing it and you’re establishing and maintaining a practice. Kudos to you!
To your peace + fulfillment,
Diane