Both in everyday life and on social media, there are a lot of people presenting themselves and their lives as being perfect when really, on the inside, they are feeling exhausted, empty, and overwhelmed.
Let’s face it, being a perfectionist is rewarded in our society – the person who goes above and beyond in their work and everything they do. They are a super star.
But this comes at a cost for the person who is the perfectionist; emotionally, mentally physically and spiritually, it is exhausting. A never-ending quest for feeling good enough.
After working with numerous people, I have heard over and over again that perfectionism is a compulsion that takes over.
It is a constant striving.
There is a belief in the subconscious that we aren’t good enough the way we are so this internal voice is constantly telling us and pushing us to prove that we are.
We are looking for praise from people on the outside to feel worthy on the inside. This quest tends to get more intense as life goes on and it very disempowering to be relying on others’ opinions of us to dictate how we feel about ourselves.
How do we change this?
It is when we are forced to stop, whether due to a crisis in our life or choosing to take a broader look that we see the way we are operating is not healthy or fulfilling.
If we STOP and recognize that this rat race of perfectionism is not all that it’s cracked up to be, this is the beginning of change and opening the doors to the beauty of who we are. Not who we should be but who we are at the core.
Mindfulness encourages us to go inward, to cultivate self-worth and self-love and then express ourselves in our outer world from a place of wholeness.
Rather than fix The Perfectionist in us, a more effective approach is to understand it. What is motivating its behaviour? What does it need? Through understanding and compassion healing happens. We become whole.
We experience that who we are is enough.
Who we are is not about what we have, do for a living, or look like. Who we are is far beyond all of that.
We are beautiful beings, all different, all meant to be here.
We all matter.
In loving kindness,
Diane