Do you believe, "If I fix THIS about myself, I will be happier and at peace?"
If so, I invite you to explore this belief because this is a trap—this is the ego at play.
Sometimes we may feel alone or separate. We may feel inadequate or insufficient or think we must fix something about ourselves. We may think everyone else has it together except for us.
But we are all human.
We have feelings, we have life experiences, and we all have stories. We are not alone and have so much more in common with one another than we realize.
This sentiment was evident last weekend when I hosted a retreat for women called 'Return to Love.'
We stepped out of our busy lives to create space to be. We practiced being present and explored self-love in a gentle and curious way. We dared to be honest.
I witnessed these incredible women being who they are, sharing their stories, challenges, and wisdom. Some shared they were surprised at how comfortable they felt amongst strangers.
They felt a sense of belonging. They felt safe, and as the weekend progressed, the women realized how much they had in common and how their authenticity was the doorway to a sense of freedom, lightness, and clarity.
It reminded me of what Brene Brown says about the difference between belonging and fitting in:
"Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn't require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are."
Was it always comfortable? No.
It can be very uncomfortable when we touch those tender places in our souls that long to be felt and acknowledged; those parts that feel less than, not loveable, separate or wounded from past experiences and long-running stories and beliefs.
There are no guarantees. It takes courage to be vulnerable. We are taking our armour of protection off and seeing ourselves for who we are.
While it can be scary, THIS is how we dissolve the blocks or conditioning and reunite with the depth of love within.
The path of self-realization is not about fixing ourselves.
It is about loving who we are – all parts. Especially the parts of ourselves that we have pushed down, judged, or been afraid of.
I shared with the group that I had focused on fixing myself for many years. I felt broken. Not realizing that this constant striving to improve or change was driven by the ego and keeping me stuck.
The journey to greater self-love starts when we are willing to be here in the now. To explore and be curious. To shine a light on the conditioning that separates us from our truth and creates a sense of separation.
Where do we start? Our daily life's practice.
It is in the here and now.
As my teacher recently said, "Practice is the path and the path is practice."
During the weekend, we also explored the power of intention and self-discovery.
Asking the questions
· Why am I on this spiritual path?
· Why do I meditate?
· Why do I do what I do?
· Is it to fix something or get rid of that feeling or support and love me?
The intention is critical.
Our souls long for meaningful connections to ourselves and others; the starting place is in this moment – to journey inward.
We explored intention during the retreat by taking part in a creative workshop, making mala bead bracelets with precious stones.
We began by creating an intention of what we want to focus on in our life -clarity, peace, compassion, and as we made our bracelets, we kept our intention in mind.
Making the bracelets was a meaningful way to support ourselves lovingly and creatively, with compassion, gentleness, and curiousity on a moment-to-moment basis.
There were many wonderful things to note from this weekend but I think, above all, this weekend reminded me of the power of gathering together and sharing who we are in a safe and sacred space.
We are not alone.
If your soul is longing to be immersed in a retreat setting and feel the freedom to be you, please check out my retreat Celebration of Self in May 2023. It’s an incredible gift to give yourself, or someone you love.
With loving kindness,
Diane