There is a lot of unknowing when it comes to life. So much of ourselves and our lives is a mystery; weaving and unfolding in ways we may not plan for or expect.
What we all want in life is love and happiness but there will, inevitably, also be pain.
While it’s often easier and more comfortable to focus on the positive and pleasant, it’s always been important to me that this blog tries to embrace the full spectrum of our human emotion and experience, including pain and the discomfort it brings.
Perhaps not a popular topic, but I hope you keep reading.
The reason why I choose to write about this topic or perhaps it chooses me, is I see, feel, and experience the deep transformation that has occurred as a result of my willingness to be with difficult feelings and stay with the discomfort when it shows up.
As challenging and uncomfortable as being with these feelings may be, the trade-off is it has made me more resilient, grounded, present, and connected to my true essence, bringing me love and happiness.
As humans, we typically choose pleasure over pain. Of course! Who wants pain?! It’s painful.
The dilemma is, being human means, we will experience pain at different times in our life. You may be experiencing discomfort or tough feelings in your life right now or witnessing pain within your circle or around the world.
It’s not easy to feel those hard feelings. Its not always easy to be human.
The question is, are we willing to feel pain or do we block, run away from or try to numb our pain?
The desire for pleasure was imprinted in our nervous system at a very young age. We have become masters at blocking the pain, hurt, and disappointment in pursuit of it.
When a child wants something, they want it now. The child wants to be soothed, wants pleasure and to be comforted. That child within us is still wanting these things.
So, we may find ourselves going to great lengths to avoid pain not knowing that this behavior is driven by the unconscious.
If you’re at all curious like me, you may be interested in exploring your relationship to pain.
My experience is that when I’m willing to be present with my reality, when I lean into and move through, it opens the door to greater peace, and connection to my truth.
Much like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon, transformed.
As adults, we can relearn. We can make new choices and develop new healthier and meaningful ways of being with our discomfort.
Our hearts have been wounded in our lifetime. So, we protect ourselves. We protect our heart from being hurt again. It becomes a habit.
With awareness, we can meet these parts with compassion. They have been waiting for us.
When we push away the pain, we are also shutting the door to True Nature and the beauty of who we are. Feeling the pain, as hard as it can be, is the very thing that opens our heart to a deeper connection to Self.
True compassion doesn’t want to remove the pain. It wants to be with the pain.
What we feel we heal.
Can we meet our pain with compassion in the moment?
Our mindfulness practice allows us to explore and observe our behaviours.
To be curious, observe and notice, without judgment.
What are you noticing in your body as you read these words or ideas about pain?
Be open. Be curious.
How can we be with pain?
What if we met our pain with compassion?
What if we met our pain with awareness?
What if we met our pain with a breath?
Take a breath right now.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Conscious breathing is conscious living. It helps us to live in an embodied way.
Say to our pain – ‘I feel you. I’m here with you.’
This is what the pain wants - to be held, supported, loved. Not to be pushed away, judged or forgotten.
Thank you for reading through, even if it was challenging. My hope is that we can support one another in our own personal healing and growth, so that in turn we can all heal and grow collectively.
With much love,
Diane