Last week I wrote about the freedom we have when we're able to "surf the waves" and flow with the uncertainty of life. It certainly is a journey and a moment-to-moment practice.
So, what gets in the way of this flow? Of our trusting, letting go, and being here now? That's what I'd like to explore with you this week.
I recently read that 1 in 4 people in Canada suffers from anxiety. This number is alarmingly high. This impact on people's lives, families, colleagues, and humanity is massive.
Anxiety and fear create a need to control.
Many people tell me they know they're trying to control everything in their lives. They're aware of it but afraid to stop or don't know how to.
I know all too well what it feels like to live in fear, be consumed with anxiety, have a racing mind, rarely be in the moment, and feel ungrounded and anxious most of the time.
Looking back, I know fear was driving my actions, not love.
My willingness to stop running away from fear, myself, and life changed things. I wanted to practice being here in the now, something very foreign to me and not always comfortable, but I kept practicing.
Like any skill, the more we practice, the more natural it becomes.
Today I don't have anxiety. I can get anxious, that's normal, but I do not have anxiety.
My relationship with fear has changed. Fear can show up, and that's normal, but I am no longer controlled by it.
If a challenging emotion or situation arises, it might take me off course. Still, I have tools to calm my mind and body and an inner compass that will bring me back to the present moment and my true essence.
Through my exploration and sharing the journey with my clients, it has become clear that our need to control, our anxiety and fear, is a result of past experiences.
Somewhere along our way to now, we had an experience or experiences that we never processed, and the fear and anxiety became frozen in time.
It remains in the subconscious (our body). It continues to show up differently - we might be overly reactive or nervous. We might go into fight or flight a lot. Our thoughts are more fear-based. We aren't trusting, and the fear keeps showing up.
What if fear isn't the problem?
What if...
* fear keeps showing up as a way to reach out for help
* fear wants our help to be free
* our judgment and fear of fear are what create a monster
When we are afraid of fear, we are letting fear control us.
When we hide from fear, we hide in fear.
When we meet fear with compassion, there is healing, integration, and transformation.
When we stop running and learn to be with fear rather than control or avoid it, we can access this wisdom and our true essence.
These are the tools a mindfulness practice offers us. We aren't running away from ourselves or the fear; we are practicing being here right now, holding the part with a loving presence just like we would a precious child.
Something that offers me comfort:
I place one hand on my heart and one hand on my abdomen.
I feel the comfort of holding myself.
I breathe into the feeling.
I might say to the part that is afraid, "I love you" or "I'm here for you." I am letting this part know 'I support you no matter what.'
This support is living life with love rather than fear. Love heals. Compassion heals. It is a choice.
As always, please reach if you are wanting additional support on your own journey. I am here to help navigate when the waters get choppy. To share the tools and techniques you need to get back in the flow.
With loving kindness,
Diane