Last week, I emphasized the importance of creating a cozy home within ourselves and finding comfort in our bodies in the present moment.
While it can sometimes feel natural to abide in the present moment in our body, it often becomes more challenging when we are dealing with intense emotions.
Over the years, I've found that the more I practice, the more natural it has become to be in my body with my feelings. That said, it continues to be a moment-to-moment practice.
Whenever I become aware I’m not present with my feelings, I can choose, once again, to be aware with presence.
I've been hearing from many people about their experiences with emotional ups and downs, which can feel quite uncomfortable. Many are asking how to deal with these intense emotions.
In response to these inquiries, I'd like to share my thoughts on managing emotional intensity.
We are all navigating through life, and in each moment, we do the best we can.
The key question is:
What happens when we feel overwhelmed with emotion?
It seems we live in a society so invested in comfort that many believe it’s not okay to feel any emotion other than happiness. Some people will go to great lengths to avoid discomfort.
Common beliefs like, ‘I shouldn’t be feeling this way, ‘I am weak’, ‘What’s wrong with me? I should be happy like they are’ can take over and hijack us.
This is the Inner Critic speaking and shaming us for feeling a certain way, which creates even more pain when we identify with it.
When uncomfortable feelings show up, we may distract ourselves, numb ourselves, stay busy, buy more, work more, overindulge in many ways, and judge ourselves harshly.
This strategy may temporarily keep our feelings at bay, but they do not entirely disappear. They are stored and will wait for another opportunity to reveal themselves—it could be hours, days, or years.
What if we became willing to be uncomfortable?
There is nothing wrong with us when we have challenging emotions.
It doesn’t mean we aren’t doing well.
It means we are human.
For many years, I was constantly running from my feelings. I would go to great lengths not to feel. I desperately wanted peace, but I didn’t realize that my unwillingness to be with my feelings was keeping my peace at bay.
While navigating intense emotions can be difficult and uncomfortable, the reward is that it has created space for the peace and love of my true essence to emerge and shine forth.
"It’s possible to be free from suffering when
there is no desire to be free from suffering. “
~ Almaas
What if we met our pain with compassion?
From my own experience and the experience of those I work with, when we are willing to turn inward lovingly and hold space for the part that is hurting, we learn we can observe the emotion rather than be the emotion.
We no longer rely on our feelings disappearing to feel worthy, grounded, or safe.
This is freedom.
What if we met our pain with a breath?
Conscious breathing is conscious living. It helps us to live in an embodied way.
What if we treated ourselves and our feelings like those of a dear child, with gentleness and care?
As I reflect on this, I can't help but recall the cherished experience I had four years ago when I held my great-niece Nneora with love and tenderness. It was truly a beautiful moment.
Can you feel this?
Can we hold ourselves with this same kind of tenderness?
Because this is what our feelings long for - to be seen, held, felt, and supported.
We create a cozy home with ourselves when we can lean into our pain and discomfort. We will feel safer and more present in our bodies and lives.
So, when pain comes knocking at our door, and it will at some point, we don’t have to close the door. We can invite our visitor in, take time to be with and understand the pain, and offer the kindness and care it longs for.
This is the transformative power of living life from the inside out.
With much love,
Diane