I was going to send you a lovely poem to read this week—something uplifting and happy because that's what I initially believed you'd most want to hear.

That would've been fine, but the truth is, as I sit down to write this, I'm feeling raw, vulnerable, and tender. Yet writing even just those few bits of truth, the words fall more effortlessly, and the strong desire to remain authentic wins over any shame I may have first felt.

I am in a place of spiritual growth and change. Sometimes, it feels okay, and sometimes, it feels disconcerting. My dear Inner Child is feeling tender. So, I am staying present to what's here and offering compassion and support to the part that feels this way.

One of my core values is authenticity. While our ego may say it is a weakness, it is a strength for me. I honour my willingness to be vulnerable, and I honour others who are.

Last weekend, I hosted a women's retreat. We had an opportunity to connect one-on-one with people and share something we admire about them. One of the women shared with me how she appreciates that I am honest, genuine, and authentic. Her words and sincerity meant so much to me.

It takes courage to take off our armour and be seen. Although it can be unnerving, every time I do this, I know it fosters more courage, strength, and a deeper connection to my true nature.

It far outweighs the other option of putting on a façade, pushing things down and staying stuck in the confines of my ego; this may feel safe at the time but there is no freedom in this. It is like being in a prison.

One night last week, I was in training when one of my peers was so vulnerable, raw, and real that I felt compassion and admiration for his strength. At one point, he stopped and said some people in our group would probably judge him for what he shared. Then, he recognized this as an Inner Critic attack and kept talking anyway. His realness touched my soul deeply.

When I first trained as a meditation teacher eighteen years ago, I was taught that the goal was to be blissed out and peaceful.

During my six months in residence, there was no mention of our shadow side or feelings. We were taught to 'choose for the silence'. We constantly denied the part that was feeling sad, scared, frustrated, or angry. What does this do? It creates a split or separation.

My goal was to always feel at peace. But the thing is, when feelings came up, and of course they did during long hours of meditation in a six-month course, I felt shame. So, I would pretend. And when I became a teacher, I made sure everyone thought I was feeling super peaceful.

Gratefully, I only stayed with this guru and teaching for two years. I don't regret this experience. In fact, I'm grateful for it. I learned so much on many levels, including what incomplete and damaging teaching looks and feels like and the value of feeling our feelings.

We aren't wrong to feel feelings; we are human.

Our true power is being who we are. It has nothing to do with what we have, look like, or do. Our willingness to be real and vulnerable cultivates a stronger connection to ourselves and to others.

There is nothing to fix, nowhere to go. Our practice is being here now, no matter how difficult a task that may be.

When we shine light on what's not true, this awareness brings things to the surface to be seen, felt, understood, and metabolized, and this is what is happening to me right now.

While it's not always comfortable to feel these feelings, I am aware that this is part of the transformation process.

This experience is happening for me, not to me.

There is an awakening happening.

The butterfly is emerging from her cocoon – again.

This is me in my true power, realizing my divine nature, living as presence with presence, and connecting to my true expression.

I am a spiritual warrior.
I am strong, courageous, and raw.
Sometimes, it feels messy.
Sometimes, I feel vulnerable.
I celebrate it all.

A lot of people are going through change right now. Let's discern nothing is wrong with us when we feel heavy emotions. They are coming to the surface to be free so that we can be free.

May we be willing to be compassionate with ourselves, allowing the blocks to dissolve and the light of our soul to emerge.

With love and gentle kindness,

Diane