Mindful Monday: Everyone’s Got a Story
I had a great conversation with a friend recently. We were talking about how everyone has a story and that we never really know what’s going on with someone. We can make a lot of assumptions, but unless we happen to ask, we never really know.
When someone reacts, looks angry, is negative, or is disengaged, we might judge them or take it personally. This includes the people we know and those we cross paths with.
How often do we make assumptions about who a person is or isn’t?
What I love about my mindfulness practice is that it allows me to pause, notice, and reflect. How did I respond or react? How do I feel in this moment? I’m very curious and step into the role of the observer.
So shortly after this conversation with my friend, the beautiful Universe gave me an opportunity to put this into practice. I love it when this happens.
One day, I was checking out at the cashier, and I said to the cashier, “How are you today? I love your top. It looks so nice on you.” She completely ignored what I said, didn’t look at me, was abrupt, and went on to serve the next customer in line.
This triggered something within me.
As I was leaving the store, my mind was saying, “How rude. What’s her problem anyway?” The ego was in full swing!
Then, suddenly, the ranting in my head stopped, and another wiser voice in my head came forth saying, “Hey, wait a minute. I wonder what her story is. What is she going through now? What has she been through?”
In that moment, compassion replaced the judgment, and when it did, I felt my body soften and my heart open.
This showed me that the compassion I was feeling for her was also a gift to me.
I sent this woman blessings of peace, health, and love and went on my way.
There were many lessons in this experience. Had I hung onto the judgment, it would’ve impacted my body and my mind and taken away my peace, which I value deeply.
Another lesson learned is to expect nothing in return. When I give a compliment, I give it without expecting anything back.
There’s so much going on behind the scenes; we never know someone’s story, what they’re going through with their health, relationships, work, children, finances, and life in general. There are just so many factors at play.
"Everyone has a story or a struggle that will break your heart. And, if you're really paying attention, most people have a story that will bring you to your knees. Nobody rides for free.”
- Brene Brown
It’s easy to make assumptions and judge, and it’s also easy to have compassion and love, offering kindness.
When I judge or hold onto resentment, I am hurting myself.
When I offer love and compassion, I feel love and compassion toward myself, too.
What would it feel like if we cut one another some slack?
The ego would love to make it all about us, but the reality is it’s usually not. How beautiful a gesture to be offered grace on an “off” moment or encounter rather than judgment.
Next time you find yourself getting your back up after an interaction (or lack thereof) with someone, try this:
Pause, notice, reflect. Be curious and compassionate, expecting nothing in return.
Sincerely,
Diane