For many of us, the quest for perfection is constant and is often so deeply engrained in our thought patterns and behaviours that we don’t notice how much control and influence it has over our lives.
The Truth - Perfectionism is a vicious cycle that creates anxiety, increases shame and guilt.
The problem with perfect is this: IT DOESN’T EXIST.
So it becomes a never-ending quest.
Brene Brown says it best...
“Perfectionism is not the same thing has striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement, and shame. It’s a shield...."
When we take time to STOP and recognize that this rat race of perfectionism is not all that it’s cracked up to be, this is the beginning of change and opening the doors to the beauty of who we are.
Where do we start? Take time to be present and get to know ourselves.
How do we know when the 'The Perfectionist' is in the drivers seat?
Our behaviours may feel more like an obsession with the ..."We have be perfect or else".
Quite often the belief of the The Perfectionist is "I am not enough." So all of our energy is put in the quest to become enough - by being perfect in EVERYTHING.
The beauty is, we can change at any given time. It takes practice. It is a moment to moment choice.
Where can we start?
Explore. Be Curious. The Key: Without Judgment.
We can ask ourselves questions like...
'Why am I doing what I'm doing?'
'Is it bringing me joy?'
'Is this for me and my fulfillment or am I trying to prove my self-worth?'
When we start to reflect and get connected to our truth something starts to awaken within us.
A mantra we can think during the day is “I am enough. I am strong. I am resilient. I am."
If we notice ourselves getting caught up in perfectionist thoughts or tendencies, observe ‘The Perfectionist’.
If you judge it or try to push it away, you are feeding it and giving it more strength.
Remember: what you resist persists.
Instead, imagine you are sending LOVE to this part of your consciousness, to the part of you that feels inadequate in some way or another. Take away the fight and replace it with love.
A mindfulness practice with regular meditation is a wonderful antidote to this attachment or addiction to perfectionism. As you go inward and connect with your true self, the desire to be anything other than who you really are begins to fall away.
Self-love is some of the most important work we do and often, having the support and encouragement of others can make a big difference. When we come together, we hold space for others and also for ourselves which is not always easy to do.
Wishing you a wonderful week,
Diane