I had a great conversation with a friend recently. We were talking about how everyone has story, and that we never really know what’s going on with someone. We can make a lot of assumptions but unless we happen to ask, we never really know.
When someone reacts, looks angry, is negative or not engaged we might judge them, or take it personally. This includes the people we know, and all the people we cross paths with.
How many times do we make assumptions of who a person is or isn’t?
What I love about my mindfulness practice is that it allows me to pause, notice, and reflect. How did I respond or react? How do I feel in this moment? I’m very curious and step into the role of the observer.
So shortly after this conversation with my friend the beautiful Universe gave me an opportunity to put this into practice. I love how this works!
One day I was checking out at the cash, and I said to the cashier, “Hi there. How are you? I love your top. It looks so nice on you.” She completely ignored what I said, didn’t look at me, was quite rude, and went on to serve the next customer in line.
This triggered something within me.
As I was leaving the store my mind was saying, “How rude. What’s her problem anyway?” The ego was in full swing!
Then, suddenly, the ranting in my head stopped and another wiser voice in my head came forth saying, “Hey wait a minute. I wonder what her story is. What is she going through now? What has she been through?”
In that moment, compassion replaced the judgment and when it did, I felt my body soften and my heart open.
This showed me that the compassion I was feeling for her was also a gift to me.
I sent this woman blessings of peace, health, and love, and went on my way.
There were many lessons in this experience. Had I hung onto the judgment it would’ve impacted my body. my mind and taken away my peace which I value deeply.
Another lesson learned, is to expect nothing in return. When I give a complement to give it without expecting anything back.
There’s so much going on behind the scenes, we never know someone’s story; what they’re going through with their health, relationship, trauma, work, children, finances. There are just so many factors at play!
It’s easy to make assumptions and judge, and it’s also easy to have compassion and love, offering kindness.
When I judge or hold onto resentment, I am hurting myself.
When I offer love and compassion, I feel love and compassion toward myself too.
So, let’s cut one another some slack. The ego would love to make it all about us, but the reality is, it’s usually not. How beautiful a gesture to be offered grace on an “off” moment or encounter rather than judgement.
Next time you find yourself getting your back up after an interaction (or lack thereof) with someone, try this:
Pause, notice, reflect. Be curious and compassionate expecting nothing in return - and if it feels right, send a blessing their way.
Sincerely,
Diane