Today I’d like to chat about fear.
I think it’s safe to say fear won’t win the popularity contest when compared with other emotions, yet we all experience fear at different times in our lives.
So, how can we be with fear when it pays a visit?
What if, fear isn't the problem.
What if, it’s our reaction and judgment of the fear that creates a monster.
When fear shows up, we feel a sensation in our body, right?
The default reaction is usually to judge or try to get rid of it.
There may be a belief, ‘It’s not ok to have fear.’ or ‘I’m afraid of this fear.’
The problem with this approach is, the more we judge fear or try to get rid of it, the longer fear will stay.
What if, we looked fear in the eyes and were open to understanding it.
Because this is what fear needs and wants, compassion.
I often ask my clients to picture a child standing in front of them and this child is afraid.
I ask “What would you say to this child?” Their reply is usually, “Well I would give them a hug and tell them it’s going to be ok. I love them.” Yes – you love them.
When we feel afraid…
Do we give ourselves a hug and show ourselves love and compassion?
No, we usually judge ourselves and the fear.
Mindfulness is a way of being with the fear.
How can we be with fear?
Here are some ideas…
Meditate on a regular basis to calm your mind, regulate your nervous system and shift your mindset.
Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) can help to release the emotion, regulate your nervous system, and bring you to a place of feeling safe.
Breathe Into the Sensation
When you feel an uncomfortable sensation in your body, breathe in and allow the breath to go there with the intent of supporting this part of you.
Set an intention to notice your thoughts
Whenever you become aware your mind is thinking a negative thought, stop.
Notice the thought. Don’t push it away. Let it be.
Bring your focus to your breath.
Breath in and out, and think, ‘I am safe'.
Conscious Breathing
Take nice deeps breaths during the day.
Breathe in and think, ‘peace’.
Breathe out and think, ‘calm’.
Journal
Allow the fear to speak through words.
Allow yourself to express how you are feeling.
You could start off by writing, ‘What is this fear all about?’ and see where this inquiry leads you.
Move your Body
Go for walks, move your body in ways you love. It will help you to stay grounded.
Talk to someone with who you feel safe.
You may have other ways that you find comfort and support. Wonderful.
For me it’s important to remember, I can't control how long fear will pay a visit. I can, however, choose how I to support myself.
The question is…
Can we practice self-compassion as we go through the ups and downs and highs and lows of life?
With love,
Diane