Find yourself by losing yourself.
I found this message on a piece or of paper in my office. I love it.
When I read these words, my body softens. I feel relief – relief the chase for Truth is off.
Losing myself means losing or dissolving the blocks, the ego structures that cloud my vision and perception of who I am.
We are so accustomed to doing, fixing or running away from ourselves but losing ourselves requires something very different from us.
It requires the willingness to be with whatever arises in the moment.
We practice this with compassion. Being our own best friend especially in those times when we are struggling.
Finding ourselves happens when we get to know ourselves intimately, including the parts we feel ashamed of or don’t like.
Finding ourselves by losing ourselves means we are the witness.
We witness our thoughts rather than being our thoughts.
We witness our feelings rather than being our feelings.
We witness the part of ourselves that feels unsafe, in pain, anxious, less than.
We compassionately hold space for it all.
It doesn’t always feel comfortable and it’s not always easy, but we stick with it to the best of our ability.
We honour the pain or discomfort and we let go of a time frame how long it should last.
Consciousness is aware and patiently creating space for whatever arises and needs our attention.
Without looking, we find ourselves.
Last week I was given an opportunity to practice these principles.
It was a beautiful experience.
I woke up feeling a tenderness in my heart, a feeling of vulnerability.
I meditated and journaled like I always do, and as I did this, I continued to acknowledge the part of me that was feeling this way.
While I was journaling, an inner voice whispered, ‘Go for a swim in the lake’.
Some may call it coincidence; I call it synchronicity. My morning schedule had opened up giving me the time to have a spontaneous outing.
So, my tenderness and I hopped in the car and took a drive to the beach.
As I drove, I continued to pay attention to the feeling in my heart. As I inhaled, I breathed in LOVE and imagined love going to my heart. I did this for the entire drive.
It felt so good to gently hold the vulnerability like I would lovingly hold a child.
When I arrived at the beach, I sat on the sand, closed my eyes and listened to the waves and other noises around me. I felt the warm breeze touch my skin and welcomed the smell of the fresh air.
When tenderness and I were ready, we went for a swim.
The water is one of my favourite places to be so when I took the plunge, it felt like home. I knew it was exactly where I was meant to be.
Driving home I felt cleansed. The tenderness was still there, and so was a feeling of wholeness and contentment.
Tenderness knew, ‘I did this trip just for you.’
This was my way of taking care of me.
This day would’ve gone a lot differently if I had of spent all day judging my feelings and myself.
I chose to be with what showed up.
I chose to love what showed up.
I found myself.
We don’t always have the time to hop in the car or spend several hours at a time with ourselves. We don’t have to.
We do have the time to be with our feelings and thoughts as we go about our day, on the fly, in the moment.
When we choose to be with and extend kindness to ourselves, we are aligning with what we need; opening ourselves to receive what the universe has to offer us.
May we gently be with ourselves in this moment.
Diane