Over the years, I have been asked, ‘If I meditate for 20 minutes daily, how long will it take me to feel peaceful?’
This question touches me. I feel the earnest longing for peace. I asked the same question when I started. The answer is, I don’t know. We don’t know.
We can be very goal-oriented. Many want to know if we will commit to this, what I will get out of it, and when.
Last week, I offered a virtual presentation for a global healthcare conference. As usual, I began the session with a guided relaxation to give the participants an experience and help them settle into the now.
I asked people to comment in the group chat when the guided relaxation was over. How was it? Enjoyable? Relaxing? Don’t feel anything different? Are you irritated or fidgety?
One participant commented, “It was terrible. It was boring. I thought about my dog and errands I had to do.”
I could’ve taken this feedback personally like something was wrong with how I led the meditation. But it wasn’t about me. It was about someone’s direct experience, and it provided the perfect segue to discuss what meditation is.
This person was not alone. I have taught hundreds of meditation classes, so many I have lost count, and one of the things most people struggle with is – ‘It’s not working’.
When we are interested in meditating, we may have a desire (or goal) to feel more peace, more relaxed, less stressed or anxious. But the truth is, there is no guarantee what the outcome will be.
Wherever you are is where you are meant to be.
When I started to meditate, I had the same desires, but more often than not, I had tons of thoughts during my meditations. It was challenging to sit still, and it brought up feelings of irritation and even boredom.
When I was ready to give up because I thought it wasn’t working, my teacher encouraged me to stick with it. She said it was working. She told me I didn’t have more thoughts; I was becoming aware of all the thoughts I was thinking all the time. And the emotions coming up are coming to the surface to be released.
What I soon discovered is meditation is not always relaxing and peaceful. Each meditation is new. So, can we let go of any expectation that our meditation will be a certain way and simply, do it?
Meditation is not about achieving something. It is more about being willing to be with whatever shows up.
Letting go of the need to control.
Letting go of the need for it to be a certain way.
When we can do that, we strengthen our minds and connect to essence, and this supports us to be less attached in our day-to-day life, living more in the present moment.
”Meditation is letting go of control, letting go of guiding our experience in any way whatsoever. The foundation of True Meditation is that we are letting go of control. In the end it's all very simple. Either we give ourselves to Silence or we don't.”
~ Adya Shanti
With loving kindness,
Diane