On the journey of self-discovery, the Universe continues to give us opportunities to learn and evolve. The tricky part is getting comfortable with being uncomfortable along the way.
We live in a society that is highly invested in being happy and celebrating positivity, which sounds great on paper but can also be harmful.
When we are led to believe that feeling anything other than happy is bad, it can cause us to go to great lengths trying to feel, or not feel, specific emotions and to look outside of ourselves to fix something, numb ourselves, or feel better.
However, in our spiritual evolution, always trying to be one way is how we become stagnant and identified with the ego.
I have explored many different paths over the years, and it wasn’t until I let go of the goal of needing to feel peace all of the time, when I was willing to be in this moment with whatever was there, that profound transformation began to unfold (and continues to unfold) in the most magical ways.
Two weeks ago, I participated in a retreat that allowed me to do just this - be with my feelings just as they are. I am in awe of the perfection of how it all unfolded.
In the retreat, we explored how our true nature is love and how we are accustomed to associating love with a feeling or relationship outside of us.
However, essential love is different. It is not dependent on someone or something. It is our inherent nature. We are that.
Love is not an emotion but a state of consciousness and our natural state of being.
Our soul was boundless, fluid, and free when we came into the world. We were connected to our true essence of love. Our spiritual journey through life is one of returning home to our true nature and essence.
During the weekend, we explored what gets in the way of being this love – spoiler alert, it is our conditioning.
Our ego structures, beliefs, and stresses create tension, occupy our mind and body space, and create an illusion of separation, leaving little room for our true essence of love to shine through.
On the first afternoon of the retreat, I started feeling a lot of irritation in my body, and at times, it was challenging to sit still. I could’ve considered this bad, like, ‘What’s wrong? I shouldn’t be feeling this way,’ but there was nothing wrong. I knew the retreat was working on me, bringing something to the surface to be seen, felt, and healed, and that is why I was there.
I knew the irritation was the unprocessed feelings of my Inner Child. A part of me (the ego) wanted more details, but I allowed my feelings to be. The details weren’t necessary.
The following evening, the irritation and unsettled feeling was still there. So, I chose to lean in and explore with compassion and curiousity.
I went for a walk and took my feelings with me. I breathed into the feelings, bringing in the supportive life force energy. I did Tapping, which felt very supportive. I meditated and lovingly held myself as I put my hands on my heart and belly. I let my Inner Child speak. I opened up my journal, and the words fell on the page.
Everything slowed right down.
I had no agenda to get rid of the feelings.
I sincerely wanted to be with and support my younger self, who, at some point in time, did not feel supported. I felt a sense of comfort. I felt so relaxed and enjoyed a deep, peaceful sleep.
The following day, I woke up feeling rested and content. My head was clear, and I felt love and lightness in my heart. The irritation and unsettled feeling did not return. It could very well have, but it didn’t.
My focus was to be with whatever showed up.
When I offered support for the feelings of irritation, they dissolved, which created more space for my true essence of love to shine forth.
The retreat explored love, what gets in the way. I was given an opportunity to experience and explore all of it. Something that could have appeared to be a problem was complete perfection.
I love this quote by Matt Kahn,
“A problem is a process we don’t understand we are in.”
This is how we return home to our true essence, by being here now.
The path of self-discovery is not about comfort. When we keep pushing feelings down in hopes they will go away, we are simply prolonging our pain and disconnection. It’s like Groundhog Day.
When trying to feel happiness or love, we are also staying stuck. This is the workings of the ego.
True nature will show us the way ‘back home’ when we take a hands-off approach and explore with compassion in the here and now.
So, can we allow ourselves to feel what we feel while letting go of the judgments or comparisons?
If we are afraid to feel our feelings, can we go slow and be gentle with ourselves, knowing it’s not a race?
I’ve witnessed repeatedly with myself and my clients that when our feelings are explored with compassion and met with understanding, there is resolve and clarity. We feel whole, grounded, and more connected to who we are. It is so beautiful.
We cannot always do this alone, and sometimes, we can benefit from having support.
It is not a weakness to ask for help; it is a strength. That is why I have teachers, and my teachers have teachers. They provide objectivity, guidance, and love to support our spiritual evolution.
If you feel stuck or disconnected from who you are and the life around you and are ready to move forward, please reach out for a free consultation. I’d love to support you. You deserve to feel the love and light that you are.
May we have the courage to gently explore and hold our emotions with the tenderness they long for.
With love,
Diane