People sometimes say that they’re on a journey or path to “find themselves”.
What if the way to finding ourselves is by losing ourselves?
Finding ourselves happens when we get to know ourselves intimately. This includes the endless self-images that are stored in our 'database', and the parts of ourselves we feel ashamed of or don’t like.
To do this, we need to be present and develop an awareness and understanding of the ego structures that cloud our perceptions of who we really are.
We are so accustomed to doing, fixing or running away from ourselves. This is the very thing that blocks us from knowing our true selves.
Losing ourselves requires something very different from us. It requires us to have the willingness to be in the moment with whatever arises.
So what do we do?
We practice.
* We observe our thoughts rather than being our thoughts
* We observe our feelings rather than being our feelings
* We observe the part of ourselves that feels unsafe, in pain, anxious, or less than
* We compassionately hold space for it all, being our own best friend especially in those times when we are struggling
When we have the willingness to be present and hold the part this ourselves with compassion healing happens. The ego structure dissolves which creates more space for our true essence to shine through. We find our true selves.
It doesn’t always feel comfortable and it’s not always easy, but we stick with it to the best of our ability.
"Be melting snow. Wash yourself of yourself." ~ Rumi
Last week I was out and about running some errands when a sweet memory popped into my head. The memory was related to the topic of finding our true selves. I noticed how just thinking about it caused my body to soften and relax.
I'd like to share my memory with you...
One morning I woke up feeling a tenderness in my heart, a feeling of vulnerability.
I meditated and journaled like I always do, and as I did this, I continued to acknowledge the part
of me that was feeling this way.
While I was journaling, an inner voice whispered, ‘Go for a swim in the lake’.
Some may call it coincidence; I call it synchronicity. My morning schedule had opened up giving me the time to have a spontaneous outing.
So, my tenderness and I hopped in the car and took a drive to the beach.
As I drove, I continued to pay attention to the feeling in my heart. As I inhaled, I breathed in LOVE and imagined love going to my heart. I did this for the entire drive.
It felt so good to gently hold the vulnerability like I would lovingly hold a child.
When I arrived at the beach, I sat on the sand, closed my eyes, and listened to the waves and other noises around me. I felt the warm breeze touch my skin and welcomed the smell of the fresh air.
When tenderness and I were ready, we went for a swim.
The water is one of my favourite places to be so when I took the plunge, it felt like home. I knew it was exactly where I was meant to be.
Driving home I felt cleansed. The tenderness was still there. It was now accompanied by a feeling of contentment.
Tenderness knew, ‘I did this trip just for you.’
This was my way of taking care of me.
This day would’ve gone a lot differently if I had spent all day judging my feelings and myself.
I chose to be with what showed up.
I chose to love what showed up.
A part of me was healed by being held.
I found my true self.
We don’t always have the time to hop in the car or spend several hours at a time with ourselves. We don’t have to.
We do have the time to be with our feelings and thoughts as we go about our day, on the fly, in the moment.
When we choose to be with and extend kindness to ourselves, we are aligning with what we need; opening ourselves to receive what the Universe has to offer us.
It is here in this moment we find our true selves.
With love,
Diane