Once in a while, I have absolutely nothing to write about for Mindful Monday. I sit down to write, but it feels like nothing's there. Usually, ideas flow through me but this week, nothing.
Years ago, I committed to doing a Mindful Monday every week, so I never throw in the towel and don't intend to this week.
So, what is this block about anyway?
A part of me is saying, "You don't have anything interesting to share" Hmm, ok.
I've been listening to this part all week. But is it true?
What I share is from my life experience, and my journey of self-discovery. This approach would be boring to some people, but this is my jam. It's what lights my fire and what makes my soul sing. I'm guessing if you're reading this, self-discovery also lights your fire.
How about I keep it simple and share a bit about my week?
For me, this past week highlighted the reality of impermanence.
One moment I'd feel the tenderness of my Inner Child, and later that day, there would be moments of expansion, clarity, and wonder. Things are constantly changing and in flux, but this felt more exaggerated.
When I let go and recognized I was not in control, I didn't know what would happen next; it was a relief. I handed the reins to True Nature and trusted her to lead the way.
I didn't plan for my Inner Child to feel tender with her emotions. She showed up. For me, that's the cue – I am to be with her and her feelings. Just like if a child was with me needing comfort, I would be there for her unconditionally.
It felt healing to be with the feelings of my Inner Child, to hold her tenderly.
When lightness, expansion, and clarity rolled in, I was also present. I admit a part of me liked this experience and wanted this feeling to stay, and like everything, it too changed.
There is a lot of unknowing when it comes to life. So much of ourselves and our lives is a mystery, weaving and unfolding in ways we may not plan for or expect.
What we all want in life are love and happiness. Still, there will inevitably be uncomfortable feelings and situations too.
While it's often easier and more comfortable to focus on the positive and pleasant, it has always been important to me to be transparent in my blogs and share what is real for me, including tender feelings and discomfort that are part of our human experience.
So, did I choose this topic this week, or did it pick me?
Either way, I see, feel, and experience the profound transformation due to my willingness to be with complicated feelings and stay with the discomfort when it shows up.
As humans, we typically choose pleasure over pain. Of course! Who wants discomfort?! It's uncomfortable!
But spiritual growth is not about comfort. It's about being here now with the immediacy of our experience, whatever that may be. The more willing we are to be here right now, the greater we can hold space for what visitor shows up in that moment.
It's not easy to feel those hard feelings. It can be challenging to be human.
Our hearts have been wounded in our lifetime. So, we protect ourselves. We protect our hearts from being hurt again, which becomes a habit; the desire for pleasure imprints in our nervous system at a very young age.
We have become masters at blocking the pain, hurt, and disappointment in pursuing it. As a result, we may find ourselves going to great lengths to avoid pain, not knowing that the unconscious drives this behavior.
Suppose you're at all curious like me. In that case, you may be interested in exploring your relationship to having a tender heart or complicated feelings that can show up.
My experience is that when I'm willing to be present with my reality when I lean into and move through, it opens the door to greater peace and connection to my truth - much like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon, transformed.
With awareness, we can meet these parts with compassion. They have been waiting for us.
When we resist, we stay stuck, and what we feel, we heal.
Quite often, we think it is our adult self feeling the feelings and our Inner Critic can say things like, "What's wrong with you? You should be feeling happy."
There is nothing wrong with us. The reactivity is coming from our Inner Child.
We have a choice – to deny the feeling or be with our feeling, and offer support.
As spiritual teacher Matt Kahn says, we are receivers of energy not the managers. We don't control happiness, peace, and so on. It will come and go.
It is a smoother journey when I can be in this place of observing and letting it be. There is freedom in acceptance.
When I think about what unfolded this week for me spiritually, I am in awe of the mystery of my soul's evolution.
Can we be in a place of not knowing?
Can we hold our feelings with a tenderness we would like a child?
Can we welcome all visitors (feelings) into 'our home' knowing they have come for a reason?
Take a moment: How does it feel in your body right now to think about these questions?
At any given time, we are doing the best we can. We practice and let go of any idea we need to be perfect.
My week ended with a delightful outing for my Inner Child. I went to the grand opening of Timbuktu Alpaca and Eco-Tourism Farm in Strathroy. The alpacas are SO adorable. They have such beautiful, sweet energy. At Timbuktu, they offer yoga and walks with alpacas and much more. I highly recommend going for a visit.
I did it! I completed Mindful Monday. I conquered the resistance. I shared, from my experience, what is real. I hope you feel equally encouraged to show up, just as you are, in this very moment of life.
Wishing you a wonderful week ahead.
Diane