Dear friends,
A content warning that this blog contains mention of sexual assault.
Today, I had a session with my mentor that touched me deeply and was very impactful.
As I sit down now to write, I feel tender.
At first, I hesitated to write from this place, but the words wanted to flow onto the page, and this part of me wanted to express itself more fully. And so, I stay true to myself and all of you as I let the words come.
I've been preparing for my upcoming weekend retreat, which focuses on exploring the ways we disconnect from our authentic selves, how we hold back, how we let old behaviours or parts of ourselves inform our choices, how we might be rigid in our bodies – and how we can be free.
As I was working on the retreat, the retreat was already working on me.
Digging into these topics, it's not surprising that I became aware of areas where I've been holding back or do not feel free.
In these areas of ourselves, vulnerability lives, the most tender of spots within us.
As I've shared before, my earlier life consisted of chaos, trauma, and inner and outer conflict, most of which resulted from the fact that I was sexually abused as a young child.
When we experience trauma, parts of ourselves separate, freeze, and also go into survival mode. It's incredible and fascinating how our bodies and minds do what they can to protect and keep us safe.
But as a result, some parts of me were closed off or frozen in time. That young child, not aware that they are now safe, not knowing that I'm now a grown woman, capable of healing, protecting, and supporting the younger parts and my entire self.
I have spent time getting to know these younger parts. I am listening and feeling how I can best be there for them – for me. It's not about fixing or getting rid of these parts but acknowledging and loving them. Letting them know that present-day me is here for them.
Once again, I am reminded of the transformation that occurs, and the spaciousness I feel, when I have the willingness to be in the nowness of my experience in a compassionate and committed way. As my Inner Child heals, and parts that were separate are integrated, I feel whole. It's like coming home.
“The deepest feeling of compassion that does not seek to alter anything, paradoxically, alters everything.”
– Adyashanti
We are complex beings with many parts, and we all have wounds in our hearts. But we can still be free. It is possible to re-align with your True Self at any stage of life.
Many things can happen to us in our lifetime, but no one or nothing can ever take away our true essence.
It's not easy, and it's not a road that somebody should travel alone. While it is inner work, the support and guidance of others you can trust are vital, as I've experienced with my teachers and mentors.
I love what I do. To provide safe, sacred spaces for women to feel supported in their journey, healing, and aligning with their True Nature.
I look forward to this weekend's retreat with a group of incredible women. When we create space in our lives to connect and feel the freedom to share who we are, our souls are nourished on so many levels.
Personally, I feel a shift in who I am and I don't think it's a coincidence my Inner Child experienced this healing now. As our retreat approaches, I feel a newness that is beyond words and am excited to explore this more.
Thank you for co-creating a community where I feel safe and comfortable writing freely and sharing with all of you. I hope my classes, workshops, retreats, and this blog offer you the same opportunities.
With love,
Diane