I recently held a weekend retreat with an incredible group of women. I was deeply touched by how we knowingly or unknowingly supported each other with our presence and by simply being who we are.
There was a recognition of how much we had in common and the comfort that brings to the soul, knowing we can be honest and are not alone.
One of my core values is being authentic, and the spirit of celebrating who we are is still very much with me from the retreat. So, I wanted to let you into my life a bit more, to share where I've been and where I am now as I enter a new chapter.
You may be aware of this, but three and a half years ago, I experienced a traumatic event. For those who are not, in the middle of the night, a drunk driver crashed into the front of my house, driving right into my living room only a few feet from where I was sleeping in the next room.
It was incredibly traumatic on many levels and required a lot of support and therapy. I have felt held since that event which has allowed me to heal. Gratefully, love surrounded me.
Life has gone on as normal since then, but in many ways, it has not.
This event brought up childhood trauma, so I have been working through it a lot these past few years. It has been one of the most challenging times in my life and also one of the most transformative.
Last month I came to terms with the fact that there was still a part of me holding back or not feeling safe to be fully seen.
When the walls crashed down in my home, the walls of my ego structures and younger parts became exposed. The incident unlocked memories, events, and feelings stored in my subconscious.
The universe had a plan that included embracing and healing my Inner Child.
Doing this work has been challenging. At times it has been downright painful physically, mentally, and emotionally. There were many times when I didn't think I could go on, but strength showed up, and courage followed.
There were times I felt like I should be doing more and creating new things, and when I compared myself to others doing so much, this just made it worse.
The truth is, I have been doing exactly what I was meant to do this entire time, whether I realized it or not.
I was taught time and time again to let go of the reins and trust in True Nature. There is no rush; there is no end game. So, I listened, got in touch, honoured all parts of myself, and let True Nature lead the way. She knows.
I know that transformation doesn't happen when we are focused on what's wrong with us, trying to fix ourselves, pushing away feelings, or trying to make our experiences different. All these things keep us stuck in the confines of the ego.
Transformation happens when we are willing to be here in the now and hold ourselves gently with compassion and curiousity. To be our own best friend and also ask for help. When we choose to stick with it, we don't give up.
When we are willing to be present, feel, be curious, and love the parts that long to be loved, we reunite with our True Nature, and change happens.
As the parts began to feel seen, acknowledged, and integrated, they dissolved into the Oneness and continued to create more space for my true essence to reveal itself.
This experience has repeatedly shown me that there is nothing to fix.
Love heals. Compassion heals.
The silver lining in all of this is the richness of my experience. I have greater self-compassion and compassion for others.
I am stronger and more resilient.
Resiliency is a skill we can develop, and I see and experience this within myself. It's much easier to love ourselves when things are going our way. The real test is when we come face to face with adversity.
My capacity to hold space for all feelings, emotions, and parts has grown tremendously, and my ability to hold space for others has also grown. I am more attuned to my feelings and the feelings of others.
I am more connected to my True Self and can live and give from this place of essence. I am aware of the spaciousness of my soul, and there are many moments when I am the spaciousness of my soul.
I have been through a vast transformation and see myself and the world through a different lens.
Since the event, I haven't put myself out there in ways I have in the past. I have been lower-key. One part of me wanted to move forward in new ways, and there was still a part that didn't feel safe; there was resistance. So, I listened and honoured this part.
Recently, there has been an opening. I'm still determining what that means and what that will look like. Still, I am open and receptive to exploring it with curiousity. The part that has wanted to be low-key feels ready to be seen and get out there more.
And so, I am asking for your support.
I am open and excited to begin collaborating again through my current offerings and in new ways; to support those with stress, mental illness, trauma, or PTSD. I don't know exactly how this will look but trust it will all fall into place.
Please reach out if you or someone you know might be interested in collaborating. Together, we are stronger.
Sending love to all my fellow spiritual warriors,
Diane