It's interesting how the Universe supports our soul's evolution in such unexpected and mysterious ways.
We may have a plan of how things should unfold in our lives, and yet, time and time again, it's not part of the Divine plan.
I learned so much about this recently.
A week and a half ago, I participated in a 5-day retreat. While in the retreat, I stayed at a beautiful cottage on Lake Huron. I was so excited to go inward, connect with people, and be surrounded by nature.
Going into the retreat, I felt curious and open, with no agenda. That is until things didn't go as I had planned. π
The first day I recognized I was experiencing some resistance. This wasn't like me, and I didn't like it. It felt like I was blocked or holding back. So instead of being present and open to the resistance, I was resisting the resistance and trying to figure out the why behind it.
When I told my teacher, she suggested I relax and be wherever I was at. She said there was nothing wrong. After receiving this feedback, my mind still wanted to know what was happening and how it would unfold. To rationalize and make sense of it.
I'm always learning and growing.
In the retreat, we explored how we are with not knowing - how can we trust? So, it's interesting how this unease with not knowing and lack of trust showed up.
One of the gifts of this retreat was being by the lake. I'm a Pisces, and the water is my happy place. My first visit to the beach was beautiful. It was windy, and the waves were wild. I felt the aliveness move through my body. It was invigorating.
I had an intention of finding a heart rock. So wouldn't you know it, my feet landed on the sand, and right in front of me, I found a beautiful rock that nature had naturally carved out in a heart. I felt loved.
As the retreat progressed, a part of me was engaged, and another was still analyzing my experience and wondering what I would learn by the end.
My second visit to the beach had such a different energy. It was quieter. It was gentler, and I felt this in my body. I was reminded of our inner world's ever-changing landscape and life itself.
I started walking up the stairs to leave the beach and realized I was walking up the wrong stairs. And yet, it was precisely where I was being guided to go.
I looked up and saw a tree with several cardinals, and they were singing away. One cardinal perched on a branch stared in my direction, and I said, 'Hi, Dad.' I felt like my family was with me from the other side of the veil. I took a deep breath. I felt supported.
I started to relax. I began to listen to what my soul longed forβ gentleness. I was ok that a part of me was wanting to know. It didn't matter. My priority was to be gentle. I felt so soothed when I listened to beautiful chants, moved, ate delicious food, journaled, and followed the lead of my inner guidance.
The next evening in the middle of the night, I woke up and heard an inner voice saying, "It's ok not to know." Something clicked. Right then, I realized I was caught up in wanting to know.
There was an opening.
I saw how I was striving, wanted to know the outcome, and wanted my experience to be different.
By the last day, things felt like they were coming together. There was more understanding.
What I appreciate most about this experience is how I kept being gentle with myself. I listened to what my soul longed for and allowed the confusion or not knowing to be there too. They weren't mutually exclusive.
When the retreat ended, and I was driving home, I was still processing what had unfolded for the last five days. Then that night, when I was lying in bed, it became crystal clear. I saw the Divine perfection in everything that played out.
I saw how I was striving and trying to force things at different times.
I also saw how being gentle is what my soul wanted, and this was the key.
I showed up for myself.
There were so many gifts. It was perfect.
The Universe perfectly orchestrated everything. It was perfect to be alone with much less distraction. It was perfect to have resistance and resist it.
I share all this because I see first-hand how this is a journey. We are continually being given opportunities to learn and unlearn. We are given opportunities to resist or surrender.
We see things once we see them.
We don't let go until we let go.
As I write this, I feel a real softness, a spaciousness. Everything feels and looks more alive. My heart is open.
Every moment is new, never to be the same as the last. We are never the same from one moment to the next. I was reminded of the impermanence of everything, the perfection of it all.
This was such a rich experience for me.
Something that started with me thinking I was wasting precious time was profoundly transformative.
I'm excited to continue the mystery, be kind and gentle with myself, and practice trusting how the Universe's plan will unfold before me.
With love,
Diane