Fourteen years ago, my partner in life and business decided to end our relationship. We cared for each other and continue to remain good friends today, but we knew it was time for a change.
Even though I knew this was the right decision for both of us, I still felt like, ‘Now what?’
It felt like I needed to shake things up. I wanted to take a break from teaching meditation and see what happened. The Universe clearly supported this decision, and I saw a job posting for a non-profit only a week later. I went in for the interview and was hired.
My role was to facilitate workshops for a program called YES, which was to help youth learn employability skills. Many of these young people faced challenges; some had legal troubles, some had addiction issues, and others had varying behavioural and communication barriers.
I had yet to gain experience working with youth. All of my previous work had been with adults. I was a fish out of water!
The first day I went to work, I was put into action in front of the classroom. This first group was the unruliest group I’d have all year. I was nervous, and they could tell – not a winning combination.
When I went home that night, I had tears in my eyes, thinking, ‘What have I done? I can’t do this!’ But I showed up the following day and for a whole year after.
What I learned very quickly was this – not to take it personally. I would choose to show care and kindness no matter what I was faced with.
What I chose to do every morning when the group arrived was to say good morning and say their name. Some of them wouldn’t look at me or acknowledge me, but I kept doing the same thing every day.
I would engage them in class in a similar way. Some days, it felt like I got somewhere with them, and the next day, it felt like we were back to day one.
Within the group, I was fortunate to be given a lot of room to create new workshops. So, I focused on my passion, which was personal development. I still covered resumes, etc., but I was far more interested in exploring personal development with these youth. I taught them meditation, and we all went to a yoga class. All new experiences I was lucky to share with them.
Some of the youth touched a spot in my heart.
I remember one boy in particular. He would not look at me or say anything to me. He was tough. I would try and engage him, but nothing. One day, out of the blue, he chose to stay after class. He wanted to talk, and I sat there and listened. He began to tell me about his family life and life in general. There was violence, poverty, drugs. I felt for him as he shared his complicated reality.
The walls came down, and he was vulnerable. He showed me who he was. His face looked different. His heart was open. My heart was open. It was truly incredible. Before me stood a young man with such sensitivity, strength, and depth.
My feeling is he felt noticed in that moment. He felt cared for, and he felt safe with me. I can see why he had walls up. I understand why he wouldn’t trust people or have been heart closed. It was a survival mechanism.
A year later, when the government didn’t renew the contract to fund the program, it felt like perfect timing to return to teaching mindfulness.
It may have been a different audience and approach, but it’s all the same. We long for connection. Our soul longs to feel a part of something.
“Connection is why we're here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.”
― Brené Brown
Miracles happen when we feel noticed, cared for, and listened to. I have witnessed it for many years, working with my clients.
I encourage everyone never to underestimate the power of kindness. Even if we don’t receive anything back, it matters and makes a difference.
With loving kindness,
Diane