After taking time off this summer, it feels great to reconnect with you again!

A lot has shifted for me over the last few months. It is quite beautiful. I am feeling an openness, a newness, and I’m grateful share with you from this place.

I love September, just like the excitement of preparing for the first day of school. It’s an imprint in my cells and memories, and I’ve had many meaningful moments in September’s past.

One of those moments happened 29 years ago when I lived in Vancouver and went to my first meditation retreat. It consisted of 10 days of silence (yes, complete silence!) and up to 13 hours of meditation daily.

Before the retreat, I didn’t have a meditation practice and was never silent. Yet something spoke to me that day at a café when I spotted a poster on the wall that read,

“Do you want peace?”

I had a party the night before I was to drive to Vancouver Island for the retreat. We danced and stayed up all hours of the night. My logic at the time was I wouldn’t be able to talk for ten days, so I better get as much socializing in as I could. The truth, though – a part of me was terrified. As I write this, I feel compassion for what I was going through on an unconscious level.

I’m sure other people may have prepared themselves by resting and being quiet, but being quiet was utterly foreign to me. I didn’t know it then, but something in my subconscious was threatened by being quiet, so I ensured I was always busy, and there was never space to be.

When the retreat ended, and I was waiting to take the ferry back to Vancouver, I remember standing on a rock overlooking the ocean. It was a picture-perfect day. As I looked at the open sky, my mind was quiet, and my heart was open. This feeling felt very unfamiliar and also really good. I was experiencing my true nature.

When I went home, I was determined to be a good meditator. We were instructed to meditate one hour in the morning and one hour at night. Although I was well-intentioned, this lasted for maybe only seven days.

Then the Inner Critic (that I knew nothing about) kicked in, saying, ‘You can’t do this. Just forget it. You’ll never have peace.’ I listened, and I gave up.

There is a lot to take from this story. First, meditating two hours a day for someone completely new is a big ask. I believe in baby steps. Even if someone mediates for 5 minutes a day, it’s a win.

Consistency is what creates long-lasting change.

Also, I had a very expansive experience at that retreat. Then what? My Inner Critic showed up and tried to put the brakes on my spiritual awakening. Why? Because this is what it is designed to do.

The Inner Critic isn’t bad. It was developed at a young age. It is our internalized parent and is wired to keep us safe. If we are colouring outside the lines, it will step in and set us straight.

As adults, this does not serve our growth or fulfillment in any way. So, learning how to identify, defend, and disengage our Inner Critic is essential to our spiritual growth. Because as we evolve, it will show up time and time again.

In private sessions with my clients, the Inner Critic often appears. Why? Because they are getting closer to essence. When we use a simple approach to disengage the Inner Critic, it dissolves. It can be that simple and that profound.

On our path of self-discovery, we will have expansive moments, and we will also have times when we feel contracted like nothing is happening or we have taken a step back.

We quite often have a preference. We can be attached to the expansive moments and think, ‘I’m really spiritual. I’m getting somewhere!’. This is our spiritual ego. Then, our Inner Critic will judge us when we feel constricted. It will say, ‘You see, it was too good to be true. You’ll never get this.’ It’s all a trap.

Our true essence doesn’t have a preference. It simply is.

The more grounded we are in our essence, our capacity to be the observer increases. We will notice we can be in the moment without needing to change anything. I’ve learned a lot about this in the past few months.

Being here now is the key.

Being here now is the doorway to a deeper connection to our true nature.

Let’s take a moment to check in. Where are you at as we enter September?

Does it feel like the first day of school excitement?
Are you ready for change but feeling stuck or meeting resistance?
Do you desire to try something new, or are you ready for a fresh outlook?

Wherever you find yourself, be there. If you feel resistance, try to shine a light on the underlying feeling.

This is where our freedom and transformation lie – in the now. It’s not in a future moment when this or that changes. It’s here in this moment, in this breath.

Please reach out if you are ready to move forward and need support. My private coaching sessions help you release built-up stress in your mind and body, gently explore the subconscious, dissolve blocks, and create space to connect with your authentic essence and the peace within.

And if you are new to mindfulness, or it’s a good time to refresh your practice, I’m also offering a 6-week Mindfulness Course that is a great way to focus on the fundamentals. There’s something for everyone!

With love,

Diane