I have been reflecting on this past year; what I have been through, what I have learned, and what I choose to commit to in 2021. I’d love to share a few thoughts with you.
Last year I had many months of emotional and physical pain related to trauma. I couldn’t work or do certain things to the extent I was accustomed, and it was really challenging.
During this time, I practiced self-compassion. I chose to support and love the parts of me that were in pain. And believe me, it wasn’t perfect. There is no perfect.
Feelings of vulnerability, pain, fear, they can be big. But at moments when I thought I had had enough, and I didn’t know if I could continue, something always kicked in and I kept with it.
Being surrounded with so much love and support also gave me the strength to persevere.
I chose to be with my feelings and be with the pain. I asked for help, I meditated, I journaled, I took care of myself, I listened to my Higher Self.
I would frequently ask myself the question. “What do I need?’ rather than ‘What should I do?’
When my Inner Critic stepped in (which it did many times) and said, ‘You shouldn’t be feeling this way or ‘Get over it’ or 'What's wrong with you?' I didn’t listen.
Practicing self-compassion builds resiliency and greater self-worth.
This has been my experience.
When we are present enough to feel the pain with compassion, to look fear in the eye and not run away, we are accessing our strength, wisdom, and clarity. Our warrior within.
In our society, for the most part, we have been given the message that when the going gets tough, we must forge ahead, be strong, suck it up and move on.
We are conditioned to think we should present ourselves as being perfect.
I wonder if there is room for us to question,
‘Is this way of thinking and being bringing us closer to happiness and peace, or further away?’
“Happiness is not dependent on circumstances being exactly as we want them to be, or on ourselves being exactly as we’d like to be. Rather, happiness stems from loving ourselves and our lives exactly as they are, knowing that joy and pain, strength and weakness, glory and failure are all essential to the full human experience.”
~ Kristen Neff
For me, self-compassion means being kind to myself. Treating myself like I would a friend or loved one, especially in the face of adversity or setbacks.
It doesn’t mean we’re push overs. It’s not soft and fluffy. On the contrary, it means we are warriors. We don’t run away or hide from ourselves or life. We stay the course.
Life has taught me time and time again,
I can’t control what my next emotion is going to be.
I can’t control what my next thought is going to be.
I can’t control what may or may not happen in my day.
I can, however, stay committed to showing myself love and compassion, and there is such a freedom in this. It feels light and solid at the same time.
I have no idea what this year will bring.
I am very clear on where I wish to place my focus. Once again, I am committing to the truth and to self-compassion. To be kind to myself and extend that kindness to others, knowing we are all in this together.
As you set your intentions for this year, I invite you to consider letting your motivation be an act of compassion and loving-kindness for yourself. It can be as simple as keeping one promise to yourself daily.
And when in doubt, return to the question, ‘Is this bringing me closer to happiness and peace, or further away?’ and let that be your guide.
With love,
Diane