Today, we are celebrating Thanksgiving in Canada.
There is so much to be grateful for. Right now, I am thankful to have an open heart. I have had many heart-opening experiences in the past several weeks.
Last week, I shared with you about the retreat I just hosted in Sedona, Arizona. It was deeply transformative. Our ten hearts were open with so much grace and presence.
This past week marked the beginning of a transformative new experience for me—a two-month training program centered on living with compassion. Little did I know how profoundly it would affect me from the first session.
We were asked to share our past and present hurts with two peers during our initial meeting. As I began to open up, something unexpected happened. I felt a warmth in my heart, and it was soft. It was compassion showing up. It was a loving and lovely feeling, catching me by surprise with its intensity.
As our group discussion progressed, I noticed this sense of compassion expanding. It moved beyond my personal experiences, embracing my peers and extending to humanity. The feeling seemed boundless and has stayed with me since that moment.
What struck me most was the effortlessness of this openness. I hadn't consciously tried to open my heart; it simply happened. In this vulnerability, I discovered an unexpected strength. Despite the emotional nature of our sharing, I felt grounded and present, observing the process with a sense of calm and open reception.
This experience reinforced my belief that feeling safe is crucial for our hearts to open truly. In this space of compassion, I found that my hurt was held gently, not swept away or ignored. The safety I felt allowed my heart to open without fear.
The realm of our hearts is delicate ground.
We all have hearts that have been wounded in our lifetime, which started at a very young age.
Perhaps something traumatic happened, or maybe it was more subtle. Perhaps we received the message, 'Don't cry. Don't show sadness. Be a good girl/boy. Be happy and smile.' We may have been told that feeling our feelings is a weakness or not welcomed. Being strong and happy is much more desired.
All of these things had an impact. As children, we could not understand or work through these things. So, we closed or protected our hearts as a way to survive.
As adults, the walls are still around our hearts. We have built barriers to love—for ourselves and others. We have become masters at blocking our hearts and putting on a facade. We may not even be aware that our hearts are closed because it has become so natural that we don't know any other way.
At the same time, our souls yearn to realize their full potential and reconnect with our divine essence, which requires an open heart.
Compassion is honouring where we are and what we have been through.
Compassion means being with our pain and suffering rather than trying to fix or eliminate it.
We can learn to be compassionate; it is profoundly transformative and cultivates greater self-love and peace.
I know this firsthand. Over the past five years, I have developed a more compassionate way of being.
If you have been reading my blog for the last several years, you will know some of the challenges I have been through. Five years ago this month, I experienced a very traumatic event when a car crashed into my living room in the middle of the night, close to where I was sleeping.
For several years after this, I was dealing with a lot of trauma. It felt like this event cracked me open completely, and all of the pain and suffering that I had pushed down for almost sixty years came up to be seen, felt, and heard. It was probably the most painful experience I have been through in my life. Just when I thought there was a reprieve, there was more. It felt like it would never end.
My willingness to be present, learn how to be kind, love the hurting parts of myself, and receive support from others was the catalyst for healing and tremendous spiritual growth.
As I met the suffering parts with understanding, curiosity, and kindness, healing occurred, and the protection barriers continued to dissolve.
While this was one of the most challenging times in my life, it also caused me to be here now, not give up, and ultimately cultivate a deeper connection to my true essence. Today, I feel more love and inner peace. I have an open heart.
I know the power of compassion. It is not a concept. It is my direct experience.
I appreciate this quote from Rumi,
"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
Our true essence is love.
Compassion is an essential quality of our true nature.
The spiritual journey is a remembrance of who we are.
Compassion is the doorway.
Without compassion, we risk becoming trapped and dominated by our Inner Critic, which fosters feelings of shame and insists that we must fix or change ourselves.
With compassion, we are free.
How do we practice compassion?
Self-compassion is a practice and a way of being with ourselves and the changing landscape of our inner and outer experiences.
When we can be with the pain and greet our suffering with kindness, it is the doorway to love.
Self-compassion means treating ourselves like we would a dear friend who is having a hard time.
There is nothing to fix. There is much to love and understand.
Try this:
Loving-Kindness Mantras
Find a quiet moment, close your eyes, and take three deep breaths, settling into your body and the present moment. Then place your hands on your body as you gently repeat these words to yourself:
May I be kind to myself.
May I know that I belong.
May I live in peace.
May I rest in love.
You can also say these compassionate-filled words as you go about your day.
It is important to remember that if our heart is closed, it is because, at some point, it was out of necessity and survival. There is wisdom here. So, we honour the parts that feel this way.
With this in mind, we treat our protective parts with kindness and thank them. They have been waiting for us for a long time. They aren't wrong or bad. These parts have been trying to keep us safe for a long time.
For all the years, these parts of us have been blocked off, and we cannot expect a quick fix. However, we can rebuild that connection and trust in ourselves by being willing and open to hold space and feel what comes up lovingly.
If you could use support on your journey, please know I am here to help. It can be challenging (to say the least) to work through blocks and trauma – past or current. You do not need to do it alone, and feeling peace and compassion within is possible.
With loving kindness and thanks,
Diane